Category BizzyBrain

Detonate

issabrainmonkeybrain 2 Comments

I feel like I am going to explode!!!

My whole body is vibrating, my stomach is churning, I never thought that leading up to going to say goodbye to my mother would feel like this. The fact I live in another country and the travel I must do to get to her is making me shake all over. 1. Bus for 6 hours then the 4 hour wait for my flight, then the 11 hour flight. Just thinking about it and all these hours of emotion building up inside is making me nauseous.

Calm …… Calm down this Monkey Brain of mine PLEASE.

Our nuclear family is small, mother, sister, daughter & nice. That is it and I am the “Strong One” the one with the heart of stone. But this is not true because I feel like a puddle right now and I need a hug or to feel strength from someone else right now. Will I make it? So that I can be strong for these 4 women in my family?

I am so thankful for this Blog that I can write it out my feeling, it does help.

Issa 2023

YOU 1

issabrainmonkeybrain Leave a comment

I am so in love with You

I think of You all the time

You make me feel, so loved and blessed

You are with me all the time

I know You will never leave me because

You have been there during the best times of my life

and have helped me through my darkest times.

When I am lost, You find me and guide me 

When I am sad, You show me how to smile again

When I am angry You bring calm back within me

You have impregnated me with so much 

LOVE & JOY 

for LIFE

I am so thankful I have YOU in my life because

As long as YOU are with me,

I am never alone.

I feel You, see You

&

LOVE YOU

My Guardian Angels

Issa

My Rant

issabrainmonkeybrain Leave a comment

One war, one argument and 3 days later the anger still lingers, not a good sign.

I am an unapologetic woman, my wisdom, my experiences, my scars, my life I have earned. I was warned over a decade ago. That certain humans would never be capable of, stand by my side as an equal. Because I was too advanced and have experienced too much already in my life.

Too be honest I thought it was a snobbish statement. 

I completely understand now after a decade. My anger at the moment is so deep and strong, hopefully writing this will calm me.

This weekend I found myself in a situation, of a one on one confrontation. My argument was strong and valid. But the soul I chose to spend my life with, went to the other side against me. What the _ _ _ _!!!! 

An onlooker, a bystander, a stranger came out from nowhere, to stand by my side and shut the situation down with 4 words. 

“She is correct, look.”

My feelings are so different now, I feel like I have been cut and now a crust is forming that will leave a nasty scar. I am afraid I won’t manage to get past this. This is due to the reason I was given for going against me in public. 

“Even though you were correct, I care what others think and I was embarrassed by your actions” 

These words are now seared on my Monkey Brain now.

One war, one argument and 3 days later the anger still lingers, not a good sign.

Jan 2023