One war, one argument and 3 days later the anger still lingers, not a good sign.
I am an unapologetic woman, my wisdom, my experiences, my scars, my life I have earned. I was warned over a decade ago. That certain humans would never be capable of, stand by my side as an equal. Because I was too advanced and have experienced too much already in my life.
Too be honest I thought it was a snobbish statement.
I completely understand now after a decade. My anger at the moment is so deep and strong, hopefully writing this will calm me.
This weekend I found myself in a situation, of a one on one confrontation. My argument was strong and valid. But the soul I chose to spend my life with, went to the other side against me. What the _ _ _ _!!!!
An onlooker, a bystander, a stranger came out from nowhere, to stand by my side and shut the situation down with 4 words.
“She is correct, look.”
My feelings are so different now, I feel like I have been cut and now a crust is forming that will leave a nasty scar. I am afraid I won’t manage to get past this. This is due to the reason I was given for going against me in public.
“Even though you were correct, I care what others think and I was embarrassed by your actions”
These words are now seared on my Monkey Brain now.
One war, one argument and 3 days later the anger still lingers, not a good sign.
Many things are happening in my life at the moment from business, personal & personal growth. As I sit here on the beach I contemplate my life at the moment, I am happy ( except for an annoying barking little dog, barking at me and trying to ruing my peace here on the beach.) OK, I am happy, yes everything could be better and from 9am today I will only be concentrating on GROWTH GROWTH
8:14am Hoof prints of a galloping horse, I see in the sand . Beautiful feeling of my heart starting to race, thump, thump, thump.
8:17am – It is cold sitting here on the beach and I really wanted to go into the water at 8:58 REBIRTH TIME – But it is freaking cold and my fingers feel numb just sitting here typing. But I really wanted to be submerged in the water. Then I think of the Polar Bears Club…. People who jump into the freezing water on New Years. So I guess thinking in this way…… This is my personal New Years and at least it’s not January. Hahahhhaa!
8:20 I see a pelican out on the rocks drying his cold wet wings… yes, he MUST be cold too.
Still in this cloudy sky, I can see the sun fighting its way through the clouds, I have faith that when it’s my time to submerge. She will be out.
8:29 I see lovers walking hand in hand along the shoreline in flirtatious conversation, it tickles and warms me to see such sweet innocents.
8:33am I just thought,….…. Shit it is cold and silly me forgot to pick up my bag of dry clothes that I left by the door, UGH!!!!! I will have to drive home wet UGH!—- (Breathe)
Everything happens for a reason.
But today, I am going to go with the flow, of this day no matter what.
8:37 J.S. called me to with me happy birthday, sadly I had to cut it short because I’m here on the beach with my last few moments in this age of my time.
8:40 The sound of the waves lapping on the shore are so relaxing ahhhhhhhhh………
8:43 I start my meditation on growth and then a swim.
8:55am The sun is just staring to peer out from the openings of the clouds and my mind is clear. That is my queue to take my dive into my New Year.
Issa Brain Monkey Brain 