Author issabrainmonkeybrain

Random Soulmates

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Soulmates, yes plural because I do believe we humans have our feel good tribe of people that we are attracted to. When we are close to these humans we feel good over all, something within us wakes up and an energy within begins to tingle mentally and physically. This is not to be mistaken for sexual arousal even though it is close. Our human soulmates are all around us and all over the world.

I think we humans are too conditioned by “superficial” forces and this blinds our natural instincts to listen to what we naturally have within ourselves to guid us through life correctly. 

How is it that with certain humans you automatically feel comfortable, safe, happy, excited and time stands still.

With others you feel disgusted, angry, uncomfortable and just over all annoyed.

Does this have to do with pheromones, DNA or past lives?

Is it possible, with the right people around, you can live your best life because you are a better you?

As “they” say some people bring out the best in us and others bring out the worst in us.

Time/Life is too short to be wasted on the wrong when there is so much right.

-Issa Ready/Pronto?

https://onedailyprompt.wordpress.com/2023/09/21/your-daily-word-prompt-Pronto-ydwordprompt-September-21-2023/

Slap the person

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Is it possible to be grateful and feel lost all at the same time? I am a grateful human but It is so strange that during a day I lose myself many times. I find myself wondering, what was I doing? Where am I? What am I doing here? I do end up finding myself after a few minutes but the confusion is strange.

I realize that when we humans lose someone very close to us we have a few ways to deal with the loss.

We throw ourselves into our work and not think about it, but the outcome later is. The feelings we purposely avoided comes out when we least expect it and this can be very embarrassing at times if we are not alone.

Or, we want to deal with our loss, but have a family that demands our attention and this distracts us from dealing with our loss. (Result) Same as above.

We also can take what time we can find and be alone and mourn for our loss by either crying, feeling anger, feeling guilt, processing all events in our mind, remembering moments or actually feeling the void in its fullness. We can’t know how much time this will take, every loss is different from another. Our feelings are at different depths for everyone. Also each one of us are exceptionally different humans in our way to process.

Someone said to me the other day. “I am sorry for your loss, but we all will lose our parents in our lifetime.”

My first reaction was to slap the person (which I did quietly in my mind), but the fact is true. I remember my grandmother telling me, “Issa, all the family I grew up with is dead. All my friends of my youth are gone, yes I have young friends but I don’t understand them when they talk, the world is so different.”

So, yes I have many more losses to come, so I better stock up on bandages, gauze and antiseptic to be ready to stitch & repair my heart over and over again before it is my time to transcend.

Issa summer 2023

JOY

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I feel much Joy for my

Life

Joy that I have healthy mind & body.

For my Instinct/Guardians

People placed in 

my life

and removed.

I feel Joy for lessons learned 

through feeling

Excitement 

Disappointment

Love 

Hate

Acceptance

Loss 

Ecstasy 

Abandonment

Happiness

Shattered

Mystery

Healing

Anger 

Utter Joy 

I feel so Blessed to

Be who I am 

Today

Thank YOU

Down

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Losing a parent is so strange because they are like your own, personal God.

They created you, these 2 people.

No matter what your relationship is with them.

Knowing they are not on this Earthly plain anymore, it feels very different.

I feel like I lost a piece of my own religion.

-Issa June 2023

Neith Mommie

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What happened!?!

July 16, 1946 – June 21, 2023

This new day without your soul on my earthly plane feels incredibly strange.

I took out all the photos, I have of you, 

Holding, me as a baby.

Watching me, from behind as I played.

Helping me, learn to walk in Washington Square park.

Also one of 

You 31yr , Xochtle 3 mo old & I 9.5 yr 

the 3 of us look so innocent in this photo

It was the last glance of normal in all our lives 

September of 1978

Then everything went LEFT!

I am crying, trying to think,

What happened !?!

I have this photo of you 

looking over your beautifully tan shoulder at the camera

your olive green eyes with gold specks, 

looking straight through the camera lens, 

and into my soul.

I thought of you in this moment and how much

 you love Reggae music and Bob Marley. 

I put on Bob Marley Greatest Hit!

Took this photo of you and went out on my 

balcony with early morning sun, holding the 

photo, YOU, tight to my chest dancing and crying

Remembering, before the chaos started.

So much damage was done to so, so, many people.

What happened!?!

Thinking. . . . .  After almost 4 decades 

“The Chaos” stops

What is left in the aftermath is.. is ..is …(don’t have a word of it)

But my old mommie the one before the chaos 

is back, damaged but mentally ok and still funny.

I am so grateful to have had these past few years

talking to you

seeing you (with technology).

Laughing, listening to your crazy stories and your matter of fact way, of speaking.

Also arguing with you, hanging up the phone in each others faces,… hahahaha

I loved the way we never talked about the time of 

“The Chaos”

We know the unconditional love we have between all of us

Everyone was damaged during that time, no one came out untouched.

I am so glad that I took a week off work

to see you 

and spend time with you

it was wonderful.

Your humor is hysterical

and your wit is so quick.

I was extreme sad that “The Chaos” destroyed your body.

But you actually found a way to make humor about is.

Saying your body is a scientific phenomenon.

In fact, thinking . . . . of what you did to yourself, during the chaos, you are right.

I can’t even begin to count how many times you were hit by a car during the chaos, I don’t have enough fingers and toes. 

Toes you chopped off 2!

Who knows what you ate, you were just always starving.

I don’t think you ever got sick.

You never had any diseases or infections (unless from spider bites) 

But 1 GREAT thing came out of 

“The Chaos”

Your body of work, 

your hundred’s and thousand’s 

of paintings. 

You are the most amazing artist

EVER

for me.

You are a raw, unbridled, authentic artist

without rules.

Your art is your truth 

You made a footprint on this world.

In my own healing process 

I understood that during the chaos time 

you were extremely  deep in your passion.

One could say, that is selfish when you have children

But who makes the rules of what is considered selfish or not?

When you are a parent 

The unconditional love is already there, so you will either

teach this human you made by:

Being completely

Selfless or Selfish or  a bit of Both.

There is no right or wrong answer here.

Being a parent,

 I can say we actually do the best we can

especially when your decisions come from a place of love 

and also to keep in mind

That a parent is also on their human journey.

Just like the human they created.

Every parent has their own way of doing it 

that makes sense to them. 

I am grateful I understood this while you were still here.

I also thank you for being selfish and 

letting me figure out a lot of 

life on my own. 

Because I feel I can confront almost anything.

I am so glad I listened 

when my phone rang 

while I was with a client,

and something said

Answer the phone !

A video chat

I got to see you

 and tell you I love you

 and you me

You even waved at my client

we blew each other 2 kisses each

and I said 

“I will call you in a bit.”

Your loving daughter Issa

Neith Nevelson

true artist

July 16, 1946 – June 21, 2023